End of Vacation

Seriously, how fast does vacation fly by? I have more vacation days than my entire immediate family and nearly every other human except those working for the federal government (they get Columbus Day and Mickey Mouse's birthday as holidays you know). So I take my va-kay and hang out at home. Me and my dogs and my knitting.

Here is what I can tell you about my at-home vacations:

1. I never get as much done as I plan to do before the vacation begins
2. I knit more than I probably should
3. I spend more time looking at yarn than your average 23 year old guy spends looking at porn

On the plus side on the particular at-home vacation:

1. I re-connected (I was going to say, "hooked up" but that sounds dirty) with a bunch of people I haven't seen in years
2. I now have two projects on the needles and two projects in que
3. I have a very clean house
4. I'm addicted to namaste yoga

So there you have it, my vacation in a nutshell.. Very long lunches (I set a new personal best of 7 hours) with old friends. Knitting. Planning knitting. None of the extremely productive things I had planned for my vacation. Thankfully, I have a week off in June. I'm sure I will accomplish many important things. Reach long-standing personal goals. And find new stuff to knit.

Summer Time (and the livin' is cheesy)

Form a little conga line and chant, "I am on vay-kay-shun, I am on vay-kay-shun". Yes, I have the next nine days without work. No TSA lines. No quart bags of nail polish. No hotels. No insurance emergencies. WHOO HOO!!!! Yeah baby.

So tonight, being a supportive wife and all, I decided to mix myself a little vodka drink, pick up a stack of magazines, and go sit under a nice shady tree while my husband fought with dead branches and weeds. It's a nice bonding time. Me and the dogs all laid out under the tree cheering him on.

I have no plans for my time off except to have lunch with old friends. Get my nails done. Do a little gardening. (not in that order of course). Maybe build a handicap ramp for Maggie. My very old and arthritic dog.

And knitting of course. I have knitters elbow right now from knitting a sweater with Tessin. I adore this yarn. I saw it at String of Purls in Omaha and fell in love. But every pattern I saw was for baby blankets. So I decided the hell with it, I've got 10 skeins, I'm making me a sweater. Ouch. It's a great yarn but not very springy so it's a bit like knitting with cotton which never works very well for me. But it's going to be a darn cute sweater. A nice pattern from Wendy Bernard that I found in Knitscene. It's just got me with the knitting elbow.

So a couple months ago I was having lunch with my friend Kate (yeah, it is easier to have friends with the exact same name as me) and she says, "You need to be on facebook". U-huh. Just like I need the newest Fergie CD or a tramp stamp. Not. "No really, all our old friends from jr. high and high school are there and you can re-connect with them." Kate has never really steered my wrong. She introduced me to peanut butter and bacon sandwiches after all. So I logged on to Facebook.

First let me tell you, it's no Ravelry. No one is talking about yarn. Or projects. Clearly Facebook is a strange and alien universe where no one is obsessed with fiber. And that is wrong, very wrong. But I have connected with the people that "knew me when" and I've got to admit it's been pretty darn fun. Of course no one who "knew me when" knows that I write an extremely sporadic but well-stalked knitting blog.

No offense, but how sad is it that this is my secret edgy life? Seriously.

&^*%^&^*())_

Damn it. I just wrote a really nice little entry about reality t.v. and how an intervention might be in my future and then it got lost in cyberfog. Damn it.

So muttering bad words I will try to recreate my previous writing although I don't know if I'm going to be able to remember all my pithy comments verbatim.

Last week I was in Denver on business. Tuesday night after work I stopped at the liquor for a bottle of chardonnay and at Mad Greens for a salad (Ty Cobb with lo-fat ranch), returned to my hotel room, put up my feet and turned on the t.v. Four hours later, feeling like I needed a shower, I turned off the t.v. and went to bed. I set a new personal best for wasteful t.v. watching. I watched three hours of "The Biggest Loser" season finale (ten minutes of content stretched into three hours of show); "Dancing With The Stars" to see who got whacked this week; "The Real Housewives of NY" season finale; and finally "The Real Housewives of NJ". That's a lot of channel flipping my friends. Not for amateurs. I actually went to bed that night feeling a little grossed out that I had actually watched all night. Thank goodness for knitting so that I can kid myself that I was being a little productive by knitting myself a sweater while watching.

You would think I would have learned my lesson, but Wednesday night I ended up right back in that chair watching the season finale of "America's Next Top Model" followed by "Who Wants to Be a Supermodel". Seriously I might need an intervention.

If you are thinking about becoming a reality t.v. addict but don't have 6 hours of quality sitting on your ass time, I highly recommend "Paranormal States" on A&E. This is seriously the campiest (not intentionally) show on t.v. In a recent episode Chip Coffey (the all time best gay t.v. psychic in the world) takes out a little spritzer bottle of holy water and starts pumping away while the rest of the team chants prayers to St. Michael. Seriously. Reality t.v. 'cause you just can't make this shit up.

Next time: knitters elbow and facebook.

This Week's Absurdity

So yesterday I had the "Today" show on while getting ready for work and they were showing a segment on planning your own funeral. Meredith was interviewing two women who wrote a book, "Grave Expectations" because they felt that the funerals they had been to recently were dull. Hey, I'm all for putting the fun back in funeral but one of their suggestions really threw me. Gift bags. Huh? Gift bags at a funeral? Have we really become so materialistic that we expect swag at funerals?

What the hell what you put in a funeral swag bag? I want the goodies handed out at my funeral to reflect my personality so I've come up with some ideas.

• hand sanitizer
  
• a ball of nice wool yarn
  
• WWKY bracelets (What Would Kate Yell, do they not make these? They should)
• A small bottle of really good vodka or mediocre chardonnay
  
• a small bird figurine denoting my irrational fear of flying animals
  
• a t-shirt that reads, "I didn't off Kate" (now that I'm a non-smoker we don't know for sure how I'll go)

I see by an RC comment that my family is lurking out there. I'm sure they'll have their own suggestions. Funeral gift bags, as my grandpa King woulda said, "sheesh".

So Now I'm on Facebook

Last Tuesday I had lunch with my oldest friend, Kate. Yes, we have the same name. It was very confusing to people when we were 9 but we've worked it out over the last 35 years and we are good with it. Take a moment to process and join us again. Ready? Okay, so we had lunch and she told me that she is on facebook and that I should join to because many of our friends from high school are there and I would find it interesting. 'kay.

So I have joined facebook and I have to tell you I'm struggling. Without hiding behind the pretense of a "knitting" blog or community I've really got nothing but random thoughts, most of which would offend at least half the population. So far I've mouthed off about how I don't think smoking is the scourge of society and how we need to stop picking on people who aren't a size 6. So I'm figuring give this facebook thing 6 months (at the outside) and I'll be asked to leave.

So what about the knitting? I'm knitting. I'm knitting plenty baby. I'm working on yet another pair of clog slippers. I'm knitting a sweater for my niece for her birthday. I'm knitting a couple of sweaters for me.

Not one of my "friends" on facebook seem to be all that interested in yarn and knitting. And I must admit, I look at this as a character flaw. I mean seriously, do they not enjoy fondling yarn? HAVE THEY FREAKING TRIED IT?

How can they really be friends? Really.

Home Improvement

I've been spiffing up the old homestead this week. My parents are coming to stay for a couple of days next week and I'm hosting a jewelry party next Friday so I figured I better do a couple of the projects I've been putting off.

I painted the main floor powder room, replaced the big dull contractor's mirror with a new oval mirror with a silver frame, and installed a new faucet. A few new towels and a rug and voila a new bathroom.

Giving me the motivation for completing this might be the only good thing about this whole home party thing. Last time I hosted a home party was like 1985. I hate home parties. I don't like attending them, I don't like hosting them. Most of the party presenters I've encountered are either of the scary "don't drink their kool-aid" or sad, "I'm a housewife who needs to make a buck" variety. The presenter that is coming next week seems to be unusually middle of the road and un-offensive or I never would have gotten sucked in to this in the first place.

Here is the thing, the hosting instruction manual starts with "invite 40 friends". Huh? I don't know that I've ever had 40 women friends. Not even in high school. I'm no shrinking violet but seriously with a job, a family, etc. I don't have time for 40 friends. I barely have time for the 5 friends I do have. When I do have strictly social time, I mostly spend it with my sister. Is this odd? Do most 44 year old women have 40 friends they hang with? Is this the same personality flaw that keeps me from committing to a knitting night group?

Then there is the having people in my house and wishing that my dog hadn't chewed the corners of the sofa cushions when she was a puppy. Plus I have to stow all my knitting somewhere while people are here. I have approximately a gazillion projects going right now and I have to stow the baskets somewhere because I'm having a home party.

Plus, what if no one buys a darn thing? What if they just drink all the wine and forget to buy jewelry and the unusually nice presenter turns into cult-member crazy high pressure sales person, thus alienating the few friends I do have? Then I'm really behind in the 40 friends count!

So Much Mucus

You know the really sad part, it I think I might have named a past post, So Much Mucus. That is my very snotty life I guess.

I am still trying to get rid of the last of my hideous mucus from the cold from hell. Which I would not have if my son was not kissing girls and bringing home, "girl germs no backs". Don't get me wrong I think his girl friend is adorable, and may well be better than he deserves, but I still don't want to have a mucus-y cold.

I have been continuing on my hat project, but I'm now concerned that the black with rainbow theme could be construed as juvenile, or gay. I'm okay with whimsically young at heart OR gay, but my male friend, Jeff in Denver, may not as he is neither whimsical nor gay.

So this month, February the shortest month of the year, I am in Connecticut one week and Denver another. So half of the month I will be on the road, This means of course that I will be blogging from the road and when I am unable to blog, Maxine Louise, basset hound from hell, will be blog-dogging in my absence.

So who else is watching, "Top Chef"? I just do not get the Leah/Hosea thing. My friend Becky would say, "Isn't it nice when dorks find each other?" but these two are driving me nuts. And can Leah please stop talking baby-talk? Seriously who does this? She keeps talking about how her mother doesn't want her to look like an idiot on t.v. and then baby-talks. Huh?

I missed all the great Super Bowl commercials, so if anyone can point me to a great resource to watch them online, please send me a link. I was flipping channels and I have to admit I watched a whole lot of the "Puppy Bowl".

So those are all my random mucus-y thoughts. When I am less mucus-y I will elaborate on my travels, dogs, fight with the State of Minnesota, random illness stuff, and knitting. But right now, in my current mucus-y state, this is all I've got.

So Let's Catch Up, Shall We?

Wow. When we last met, I was just changing jobs, trying to lose some weight, etc. Here are the highlights. I promise to go into detail in later postings.


I started walking about 18 months ago, but last August I decided I needed to take it to the next level and (cue scary music) joined a gym. I have been working my ass off and have not lost a single solitary pound. Last week, my endocrinologist (or more accurately her handy maternity-leave substitute) took my scale away and told me to stay off of it for the next couple of months. Meanwhile I have spent the last several months driving everyone around me crazy talking about endorphins and lean proteins. I'm not sure but I think I'm allowed to legally shoot the next person who tells me that muscle weighs more than fat.

My job is going great although I'm not selling as much as I had hoped. My manager is helping me out by adding Colorado to my territory but that means I am in Denver 1 week each month. Great for business not so much the mother, daughter, sister, wife gig. But count on travel stories in our future.

My kid is 16. He is driving, shaving, and kissing girls. He is taller than me. Sometimes he has nothing to say to me, sometimes he tells me so much that I am looking for the "eject" button. I cried in the Target parking lot the day I had to buy him his first electric razor. He likes me to travel because then he has a car to use. Basically, he'd trade me for a used Honda.

Miss Moo, my beloved basset hound, is just as insane as ever and we are still best girl friends. She still thinks that this is her blog and since most people identify it with her, I can't really blame her.

I do still knit constantly. I can't be held accountable if some miscellaneous knitting talk slips in here. Right now I'm working on an ear flap hat for my snowboarder friend/colleague in Denver. My son says that all my hats are cool looking but not warm enough so I'm making this one a little large and then felting it a tiny bit so that it will be warmer. I've got plenty of time since I'm not back to Denver for three weeks, plus I'm just lying around trying to get rid of this cold.

I should have called the Guinness Book people first thing this morning because I'm pretty sure I could have gotten the record for blowing my nose the in one day. I'm at about 8 million times now. My nose feels like it might fall off. I'm taking a conservative approach to treatment as I am not all that crazy about taking drugs so I'm on a strict chardonnay and dark chocolate plan. I don't know what it is doing medically, but I feel better.

Don't Fence Me In

I haven't written for a long time for a few reasons.

• When I found out my extended family was reading my blog the pressure was on.
• I don't think I'm really a proficient enough knitter to be a "knitting blogger".

Don't knitting bloggers have to go on to write pattern books? Doesn't that involve math? Why would I want to do that?

See, the pressure is enormous. I really miss the writing part though. The random thoughts out into cyberspace. I miss that. So I'm picking up the laptop again. I'm back on the damn horse. I'm thinkin' outloud.

Here is what I'm thinking today.

1. My throat is scratchy. I think I've caught my teenager's cold.
2. If my teenager hadn't started kissing girls he wouldn't have colds all the time.
3. Where am I going to buy wine now that "World Market" is closing in Minnesota?
4. Do you remember when A&E was ballet and foreign films? Now it's "Dog the Bounty Hunter" and a show about a hillbilly family that run an exterminator business.

Do you see why I can't be fenced in?

I Meet Crazy Aunt Purl

I've never attended a book signing before and after my sister's disaster with a local romance writer (ask her about it sometime) I was not interested in attending one ever. And it seems a little like legal stalking, but I had to make an exception.

I've gotta tell you that I was pretty weirded out about going to a book signing for someone I've been e-mailing with for the last couple of years. But in the end, I wanted to meet Crazy Aunt Purl in person and I'm awfully glad I did because she is just as funny in person as she is online. If you are one of the ten people who haven't read her "knitting" blog, by all means take some time right now to do so. We'll wait. There is a button just to the right of this post. She is the only one I know whose knitting blog contains less actual knitting than this one, so even my family members reading this will enjoy it. Especially the females.

Having never attended a book signing I was unaware of the protocol involved. Now being a veteran attendee I feel as though I can give unsolicited advice to any of you that might be thinking about attending a book signing in the near future:

1. Do not go straight from a work event that involved adult beverages and no food
2. Do not wear high heels because you are coming straight from work even your most comfy pair
3. Do take half a day off so that you can stake out a good seat aprox. 4 hours before the book signing (I did not do this and yet still do not regret it, but apparently this is what the veteran book signing people and author stalkers do)
4. Do not piss off the 22-year-old from the book store who controls the line. Even though it is clear from his introduction that he has not read the book or understood anything about the author. Even though he is wearing a velvet jacket and has long unwashed hair and braces on his teeth.
   
5. Do not piss off those around you when dissed by the velvet jacket wearing line control guy whom you have told that you could well do a complete Marie Osmond right there while waiting in the heat because your blood sugar is dropping due to #1.
   

Actually I think the three women around me thought I was funny and in the end Velvet Jacket realized that he should probably let the people who had attended the entire reading standing up get into line before he had a whole pack of crabby, low-blood sugar women (some of whom are packing pointy sticks) on his hands. I don't like to be a credit hog, but I do think that my argument that the people who had been sitting there since 3:00 with their big knitting baskets might just be the people with the most time on their hands, may have turned the line tide.

Anyhow, I got Laurie to sign my book. When she saw what I wanted her to write she exclaimed, "You are THAT Kate?!" and jumped up to give me a hug. And remind me that she does indeed have an encyclopedic knowledge of all things Gilligans Island, but will only use this knowledge for good.

Update

I've put a link in yesterday's post to see RC on t.v. Apparently he was on the local ABC affiliate today and was interviewed by two newspapers too. Can an RC drinking game be far behind? I don't think so.

Various & Sundry

This weekend was terrific. I bowled for Shriner's Childrens Hospitals on Saturday without completely humiliating myself. Any time I can engage in anything that takes physical coordination without falling, tripping, slipping or generally looking foolish, I count it in the win column. Many don't think of bowling as a sport, but I'm all for calling it a sport. In fact, I'm all for anything I can do while drinking beer and still call a sport. So bowling, bocce ball, golf, fishing, right up there with my favorite sports of all time. My right leg is super sore still, but I had a great time. (Yes, I'm old and falling apart. Bowling hurts for two days afterwards. Sad but true).

Speaking of sports, as a long time Sox fan, I'm really really happy about them getting in the Series again. I didn't think I'd ever actually see them win a World Series in my lifetime, but now there is a real chance they could win two in my lifetime!!! Downside is the playing in Colorado thing. Games that happen in Mountain time are generally going to last past my bedtime. This could be problematic.

Of course the World Series is a great time to knit. Or crochet. I don't know what has gotten into me, but I'm crocheting a couple of afghans right now.

Today's most exciting news? RC was on the news today. You may be asking the first thing I asked when I found out my brother was going to be on the news, "Oh good God, what did he do?" He didn't drive his boat down mainstreet wearing nothing but a smile while smoking a cigar, did he? He didn't do his famous Fat Bald Guy dance in front a fire after drinking and fall in, did he? (As RC always says, "What's funnier than a fat guy dancing the robot? A BALD fat guy dancing the robot.")
"No, no, no," my sister replied, "The quints in St. Cloud."
"Oh God, he's the father and his wife murdered him."
"NO!" my sister is just way over me now, "The mom works for him."

This was interesting since he's always telling me how all his employees in his small town are 112- year-old women. Now this quint story is sounding interesting! Turns out that at least one employee is of childbearing years and they interviewed him about it on the news. He's very smart, articulate, and he showed well on t.v. Plus he was wearing his pumpkin halloween tie so he was looking pretty dapper too. If they post the video on the KARE 11 website, I'll link it here.

This is totally going to blow his image as a guy imitating the flying monkeys from "Wizard of Oz" while wearing a felted bag on his head. Sorry RC. Feel free to make outrageous comments to restore your street cred in knitting blog land. Okay, let's face it. Being the bad boy of my knitting blog makes you a pretty lame bad boy anyway.

Susan and the Turkey (or how I came to knit socks)

It's been well documented here that I have absolutely no interest in knitting socks. I wear high heels nearly every day. I'm not really the colorful sock type. I don't have a handknit sock kinda life. I loathe double pointed needles. I hate knitting two of anything. Sleeves drive me crazy because I have to knit two.

So why did I knit socks? Because my sister, Susan, wanted to knit socks. Susan is a quilter who occasionally veers off the piecing path to knit, crochet, and scrapbook. There is a woman in her (now our) office that I talked into trying knitting a few years ago and has become a very prolific sock knitter. I don't know if this woman even owns socks she didn't knit herself at this point. My sister has been fascinated by these cute colorful socks and told me several times she'd like to learn. I thought taking a class together would be a great way to spend time together and I knew that sock knitting would be the best way to tempt my sister into taking a class with me.

We will be lucky if they invite us back to take a class again. Mostly because we are nuts. It was really the turkey's fault that we were standing in the parking lot the first night laughing like escaped mental patients. Let me say first that until a couple years ago I had never even seen a wild turkey let alone wild turkeys walking along city streets. Okay, suburban streets but still. Lately I keep seeing turkeys. Not like, I'm seeing dancing purple elephants, but turkeys. Real turkeys.

Amazing Threads, my favorite knit shop ever, is in a complex of new office condo/townhouses. You've probably seen them, they are springing up everywhere. Buy your office/store space instead of leasing without having to be Trump buying a gigantic office tower? So I'm pulling into the complex the first night and I am struck by the sight of a cop with his lights flashing parked next to (you guessed it) a wild turkey. I drove around the corner and parked in front of the shop, which faces the other direction so there was no way to see the turkey being pulled over! Upon entering the shop I saw my sister shopping for her yarn and needles for the class and told her that I had just seen a turkey pulled over. She immediately thought I had been drinking.

The class was great, we learned to cast on and start knitting on two circular needles. I've got to admit I've tried to teach myself this technique before unsuccessfully and once I saw how the technique works it was one of those "duh" moments (how could I not have gotten this before?). We were relatively well behaved. I didn't even let on that I came into the class pretty sure that sock knitting was a big waste of time.

After class we walked out to our cars and stood talking, my sister standing with her back to the street. Over her shoulder I see the turkey walking along the boulevard!! Interrupting my sister mid-sentence, I exclaim loudly, "There it is!", startling her into grabbing my arm and replying, "What, what, where, where?!" Of course by this time the turkey is behind a bush and she once again thinks I'm nuts. I told her to wait and watch.

Quietly, like kids in a game of hide-and-seek, we waited and watched. When the turkey appears from behind the bush I point, "See, see I told you there was a turkey". To which my sister replied loudly and quickly (and I believe these words will be forever entered into family lore), "Shoot it!!"

What?! Shoot it? With the shotgun in my knitting bag? Oh yeah, that's right I don't own a shotgun and if I did I would be highly unlikely to have it in my sock knitting bag. When she realized the absurdity of what she had just said, she got the giggles. Which gave me the giggles. Which made us both have to pee. Which made us laugh harder. So here we are standing in front of the knitting shop laughing like loons, telling each other to stop because we are going to have an accident. I'm surprised they want us back at the shop. Ever.

So that is how I came to knit socks and nearly embarrassed myself at my favorite yarn shop to the point of not being able to go back there. (I mean seriously I do spend plenty of money there and Bobbie is really nice and laid back but I've gotta believe she would frown on people peeing their pants in front of her store.) The whole thing is (and I don't get to say this very often in my family) ALL MY SISTER'S FAULT.

Never Say Never

Hello. I'm back. I think. After 2 years of being absolutely miserable in my professional life, I've returned to the company I left in 2005. I'd been there for 16 years before leaving. I learned a ton in the two years of misery but I'm glad to be back. I'm hoping that I've overall gotten my groove back and can once again blog on a regular basis! (BTW, I think I'm working in the same building as Chaos' mom but so far no actual spotting has occurred.)

This should tell you just how wacky my life has been lately. I broke my hard and fast no sock knitting policy.
My first socks! Knit with Shi Bui on two circular needles from KnitPicks. The yarn was wonderful to knit with. This doesn't make me a convert by any means. I'm still unconvinced that I want to spend a ton of time knitting socks, but I must say they do make a nice airplane project. I'm not giving you the whole leg shot because I haven't seen a leg shot of socks that didn't make the wearer's calves look enormous and my psyche is not up to huge calves right now.

Yes, I do have one remaining source of angst. My weight. Since January I've gained 15 pounds. I tried Weight Watchers, lost 7 pounds and realized I don't want to live in a cookie-free world the rest of my life. So I'm on an exercise program. It's only week 3 so no earth-shattering results yet, but I'll keep you posted.

Tomorrow: How I came to knit a pair of socks and learned the importance of "packin' heat" in your knitting bag.

So much to say and none of it knitting

Yes, I'm knitting, I'm knitting like a fiend! I'm working on a ski sweater for my son, a sweater for my niece, and planning mittens for practically everyone. I've solved my "I hate knitting sleeves" (honest to God, you finish one and you have to do another EXACTLY the same) thing by knitting sleeveless stuff.

So in my last (long ago) entry, I told you about the great time we had with my family at the reunion. Notice how many of the women jumped on the comment bandwagon to note that they are not the planner?

After sending visiting relatives on their way, we settled in to enjoy our time off. You don't have to leave home to enjoy vacation! Here are some of the ways we enjoyed our time as a family:

1. Waiting for the Best Buy repairman to come fix my husband's giant t.v. He subscribes to the MLB channels so that he can watch aproximately 7 gazillion baseball games a week in high def.
2. Listening to my husband whine about being unable to watch 7 gazillion baseball games on his 52" t.v. because the Best Buy guy can't get here until Friday.
3. After the temp spikes into the 90s we all stand over the air conditioning vents and agree, "nope that's just plain air, not cold air".
4. Wait for the air conditioner repairman to come out. He was early, told us that rabbits had chewed through the wiring (yeah Maxine is quite the rabbit hunter), and hurried away because his family was spending their summer vacation in the Dells.
5. Play nine holes of golf one everning as a family.
6. Husband falls in a hole on the seventh tee box, twists his ankle and can't finish. 14-year old accuses father of "faking it" because he was losing.
7. Husband has a torn something or other and is still in the air cast three weeks later.
8. Husband whines about how hard it is to be laid up with an injured ankle and no giant t.v.
9. Best Buy guy arrives to fix t.v. I barely refrain from kissing him on the lips I am so glad to see him. He is the only thing that can stop the whining.

See, you can have plenty of good wholesome family fun on vacation at home. Or try the Dells.

It's Genetic

I know it's been a really long time since I posted, but I am now bowing to the peer pressure of my family. You can't really say no to a great 9-year-old who is a budding fiber fanatic, now can you?

Last weekend we had a family reunion. We are primarily a mild-mannered, fly-by-the -seat-of-our-pants kind of family. There was no seeking out long lost relatives. It was not 150 people meeting each other for the first time. When I got the first e-mails about planning back in February, my response was, "I cannot possibly care about who is bringing the rolls to an event that is scheduled 5 months from now." This attitude was not entirely embraced by the planners amongst us (namely my sister and cousin) Somehow, perhaps as a result of my attitude, I ended up hosting part of the event.

I have to say, in retrospect, the whole event was a blast. And not just because there was knitting and crocheting involved. Yes, as it turns out, my cousin (not the planner cousin) Pam's daughter (the aforementioned 9-year-old) is a crocheter and knitter. On Sunday, my part of the hosting, in addition to brunch there was a whole lot of knitting/crocheting going on. Here is Megan working on a long jacket of her own design:
Yes, that is the Schmooley Dog, Maxine in the background thinking "I thought I was the starring Blog-Dog" I'm sorry Max, but you do a lot less knitting and writing than most people think! Megan flew along with her crocheting and many of the adult women (including her mother who got skipped by the family fiber gene) were envious of her skills with a crochet hook.

My sister, (some of you remember her from long ago comments and the party in her cupboard over the fridge) was also a crocheting maniac, whipping up crazy flip flops for the girls at the party.
So in addition to the eating and drinking there was craftin' goin' on. And I was reminded that I come from an entire family of strong, smart, funny, opinionated women and men that love us. And put up with us daily. Life is really good.

Dazed and Confused

and severely reprimanded by my little sister, I venture back to the blogesphere. A bit chastened, but (of this I am certain) no wiser. I haven't had much to write about that would be of interest. I hate whining and I have been particularly whiney of late. I've determined that life is too short to loathe your job and I must find a new one. I've been very Grave-sy of late and who the hell wants to listen to me whine about my health. I quit smoking and gained 15 pounds. Oh yes, everyone wants to listen to me rant about the injustice of going from a size 8 to a size 10. Every time I want to spend time with my son, he has something better to do in the way of friends, activities etc. Yes, I'm sure you want me to write a lot about how popular and well-adjusted my teenager is.

Okay I can tell you this little tidbit. SHHHH!!! I'm a cheater-cheater-cheater-boots. Yes. I have been knitting with. . . . A MACHINE. Only on the very boring bits of endless stockinette. Only with the slippery irritating microfiber and the carpal tunnel inducing cotton. But still. I know I'm cheating. I've left the purist world to knit on a used "Incredible Sweater Machine" I picked up for $50 on e-bay.

In two days I leave for a business trip to (you can't get there from here) Montana. I'm sure that will be worth a story or two.

Button Up Your Overcoat

'Cos it's snowing again! It's snowed twice since we put the spring weed n' feed down on the lawn. In typical bureaucratic fashion, this week is the week that my town cleans the streets so gosh darn it the streets will be clean! Instead of a salt or sand truck, the street cleaner just passed by, looking silly with the falling snow. Did I mention I've got a big deal thing going on tomorrow? Did I mention executives from places like Houston are flying here today. Welcome to Minnesota folks. Don't worry the weather will change tomorrow. In April we never know whether to wear our parkas or shorts. Sometimes you need both withing 48 hours of each other. I wouldn't have it any other way.



Last weekend I decided to pull an old UFO out of the closet and finish it. It was on the cover of Vogue knitting a couple years ago, an orange seed stitch cardigan knit in Brown Sheep Burly Spun. None of my LYSs carry this yarn so I had to special order it. It was the most I'd ever spent on yarn at the time and I was excited about knitting the sweater in my choice of color not dictated by what was on hand at the store. I think I abandoned it because of the sorta crappy instructions for shaping the sleeve caps. I had to make notes now to do it correctly and I'm sure that it would have scared the crap out of me three years ago.



My biggest concern about the sweater from day one was finding the super cool buttons that were pictured on the cover. I also knew that if I found them, they'd probably cost $3-$5 apiece, officially making this the most expensive sweater I've ever knit. But Saturday I scored big! The local Hancock Fabrics is shutting their doors. I'm sad about this, but I was a happy shopper on Saturday as their special of the day was all buttons, 70% off. Being kind of a button-a-holic anyway (I have my grandma's old buttons, I save all buttons, etc.) I was thrilled.

The big purply blue button in the middle is for the sweater in question (obviously there are more than one) but if they are practically givin' em away I'm buying more. I'll hopefully post a picture of the finished sweater this weekend.

You've all probably noticed that RC is living up to his standards. Yes, my immediate family are a family of hunters. He owns a ton of non-feral cats and two dogs in real life so before you light up your torches and grab your pitchforks. . . . . You weren't really expecting unshaved legs and tree hugging here though, were you?

OMG

Okay, if you are easily offended, look away. This morning in our staff meeting there was a lot of discussion about an event that we are hosting this week. I've been in charge of the planning and execution of the event, so I was a little worried that someone was going to try tossing something new on my plate concerning this soiree. I was right to worry. My boss, really the nicest guy in the world, says "why don't we all wear ribbons on our lapels so that people know that they can come to us for questions." Sounded like a great idea and once again leaving the filter between my brain and mouth off, I said "sure, I can do that!".

Later this afternoon I realized I've never made one of these ribbons. I googled charity ribbon and came across a site that had me in stitches the remainder of the day (PREPARE TO BE OFFENDED NOW). I'm all for supporting charities, causes, having opinions but honest to God, I had no idea that just about every cause now has a ribbon. Here are some examples that had me laughing like an idiot at my desk (I'm sure people heard me laughing alone in my office and are figuring that I have finally gone around the bend).

Did you know?

1. Orange ribbons are for feral cats? I don't know if they are for or against exactly. . .
2. Silver ribbons-elderly abuse. That's all it says elderly abuse. I've gotta say I am against elderly abuse although my dad would argue this (he can dish it out but he can't take it now that he's old)
3. Teal is for a variety of things including sexual assault and food allergies. So now if I see someone wearing a teal ribbon I'm going to wonder if they are the victim of a horrible and violent crime, or just lactose intolerant (not that lactose intolerance sounds like a picnic or anything)
4. Purple represents domestic violence (against), religious tolerance (for), and Pagan Pride. I did not know that there are a lot of Pagan Pride activists out there, but I certainly am hoping for an invite to their next big rally.
5. My personal favorite: Black: mourning, melanoma, anti-gangs, anti-terrorism in Spain, narcolepsy, POW-MIAs, primary billiary cirrhosis, and Amish support.

Number 5 has left my husband in a quandry. He's for Amish Gangs with narcolepsy.

Spring Cleaning

Spring is time for really tearing things apart and giving them a good cleaning. Just make sure you put things back together when you are done.

She looks a little sad because we woke her up with the camera. The hole in the side of her bed? She chewed it. She is nothing if not adaptable.