Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Stop Stop the Muffin Top

You have to practice this to achieve the desired cadence. So I'm interrupting my usual knitting broadcast to give you this unsolicited advice and public service announcement on a pervasive problem. Muffin Top.

Post-holiday, I'm betting just about everyone can find themselves battling the muffin top. My swing from crazy-overactive hyper-drive metabolism to slow-motion metabolism (don't worry me and Dr. Rebecca are all over this one), combined with quit smoking snacks have resulted in a 9 pound weight gain.

Listen, I'm not saying that 9 pounds is anything. I'm unconcerned. I'm still in the actuarial table as not even qualifying for being considered overweight. I've never had issues with my weight and I'm not here to say I have any inkling of what it is like to constantly battle real weight issues.

So, I'm not qualified to lecture anyone on weight. I'm here to talk about muffin top, which you can get if you are a size 2!!! For those who stay away from the television and pop magazines and conversations, muffin top is that little roll over the top of your pants. I've been battling the muffin top and here is my secret to getting rid of it. I bought bigger pants.

Yep. I bought one size bigger. It's comfy. My butt, partially due to the weight gain, seems plenty big enough to hold the bigger pants on to my person while the bigger waist band doesn't create the muffin top. And I've stopped worrying about the 9 pounds! This new plan to enhance my body image and make me more comfortable may lead down a dangerous road, but I'm embracing it for now.

So stop worrying about standing up really straight so that the muffin top will disappear. Don't wonder during endless meetings whether or not the table is hiding the muffin top. Grab your credit card and march to your nearest retailer chanting, "Stop, Stop, the Muffin Top" in a sing song voice, and buy yourself a bigger pair of pants.

8 comments:

Chris said...

You're on a slippery slope...

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the chuckle :)

Kelly said...

Go solution!!

ldymosquito said...

muffin-tops, shmuffin-props. You are a skinny minny!

Guinifer said...

Can I get you to talk to some of the girls in my 14 YO's class? Yeesh. TMI.

Sydney said...

LOL at the muffin top. Comfy is always good.

Anonymous said...

After I lost a significant amount of weight I was horrified to still see all the muffiny goodness. It seems that certain pants just love to make a muffin. I'm considering wrapping myself in duct tape...

Mia said...

AMEN!