Yesterday my sister, my niece (who will be 5 in May) and I went shoe shopping. I only have a son, so I was unaware of the joys of having a daughter who likes to shop. My sister is practical so she by and large stays out of the mall, but I would be in real trouble if I had a full-time shopping pal. There is probably a reason that I was not blessed with a daughter.
DSW Shoe Warehouse was having a big sale. A BIG sale. My sister needed shoes for the school's fancy schmancy fundraising dinner so we really were there with a purpose in mind. But with so many shoes 50% or even 70% off things got out of hand. As a nearly professional shoe shopper I feel that I should categorize the emotional stages of shoe shopping for you before you run out to the nearest shoe sale yourself.
- Browsing. You walk in the store, look around. Of course there are some cute canvas, ankle-tie espadrilles right in front, but come on it's February. It's 3 degrees outside and a slushy mess.
- First sighting. You come across a tall rack of boots and pick up a pair of brown, suede, pull-on, stretchy boots with fashionable toes and heels that aren't too high. Upon further inspection you discover that at 40% off these boots are only $40. OH MY GOD!
- Frenzy. 20 minutes later you are wishing that you hadn't brought your purse. It's getting in the way as you scurry from aisle to aisle accumulating pairs of sale shoes that you must have.
- Insanity. I have a pair of strappy, purple, shiny, leather sandals with rhinestone heels in one hand and a pair of 4" teal blue imitation-ostrich pumps in the other. I have my eye on furry lime green clogs with giant wedge heels. I work for an insurance firm. The Ward Cleavers there would have coronaries if I wore any of this. I don't have outfits for any of this. If I buy these things I will never wear them.
- Jaded. 40% off? Are you kidding me? I've got a pair of Steve Madden pumps in my pile over there that are 70% off and will only cost me $20.98. 40% off? I spit on 40% off. I need more.
Once you reach jaded you'll be okay. You will end up buying things you'll actually wear. You won't spend the grocery money on pink lucite wedgies. The problem is that most people don't ride out the insanity to get to jaded. They panic and run from the store without purchasing anything or find themselves buying a single pair of sensible shoes. They will regret this later. Ride it out, you'll come back to your senses.
The insanity lasts a lot longer if you have a blonde, green-eyed 4 year old with long curly hair modeling all the shoes for you. Finding shiny shoes and saying "OOH, Kafryn, look at these!" By the way, the first pair of brown stretchy boots didn't make the final cut when we culled the pile down to the budget. But between the two of us we bought 12 pair of shoes. I kinda want to go back for those boots. Maybe I'll take my niece.