Dazed and Confused

and severely reprimanded by my little sister, I venture back to the blogesphere. A bit chastened, but (of this I am certain) no wiser. I haven't had much to write about that would be of interest. I hate whining and I have been particularly whiney of late. I've determined that life is too short to loathe your job and I must find a new one. I've been very Grave-sy of late and who the hell wants to listen to me whine about my health. I quit smoking and gained 15 pounds. Oh yes, everyone wants to listen to me rant about the injustice of going from a size 8 to a size 10. Every time I want to spend time with my son, he has something better to do in the way of friends, activities etc. Yes, I'm sure you want me to write a lot about how popular and well-adjusted my teenager is.

Okay I can tell you this little tidbit. SHHHH!!! I'm a cheater-cheater-cheater-boots. Yes. I have been knitting with. . . . A MACHINE. Only on the very boring bits of endless stockinette. Only with the slippery irritating microfiber and the carpal tunnel inducing cotton. But still. I know I'm cheating. I've left the purist world to knit on a used "Incredible Sweater Machine" I picked up for $50 on e-bay.

In two days I leave for a business trip to (you can't get there from here) Montana. I'm sure that will be worth a story or two.

Button Up Your Overcoat

'Cos it's snowing again! It's snowed twice since we put the spring weed n' feed down on the lawn. In typical bureaucratic fashion, this week is the week that my town cleans the streets so gosh darn it the streets will be clean! Instead of a salt or sand truck, the street cleaner just passed by, looking silly with the falling snow. Did I mention I've got a big deal thing going on tomorrow? Did I mention executives from places like Houston are flying here today. Welcome to Minnesota folks. Don't worry the weather will change tomorrow. In April we never know whether to wear our parkas or shorts. Sometimes you need both withing 48 hours of each other. I wouldn't have it any other way.



Last weekend I decided to pull an old UFO out of the closet and finish it. It was on the cover of Vogue knitting a couple years ago, an orange seed stitch cardigan knit in Brown Sheep Burly Spun. None of my LYSs carry this yarn so I had to special order it. It was the most I'd ever spent on yarn at the time and I was excited about knitting the sweater in my choice of color not dictated by what was on hand at the store. I think I abandoned it because of the sorta crappy instructions for shaping the sleeve caps. I had to make notes now to do it correctly and I'm sure that it would have scared the crap out of me three years ago.



My biggest concern about the sweater from day one was finding the super cool buttons that were pictured on the cover. I also knew that if I found them, they'd probably cost $3-$5 apiece, officially making this the most expensive sweater I've ever knit. But Saturday I scored big! The local Hancock Fabrics is shutting their doors. I'm sad about this, but I was a happy shopper on Saturday as their special of the day was all buttons, 70% off. Being kind of a button-a-holic anyway (I have my grandma's old buttons, I save all buttons, etc.) I was thrilled.

The big purply blue button in the middle is for the sweater in question (obviously there are more than one) but if they are practically givin' em away I'm buying more. I'll hopefully post a picture of the finished sweater this weekend.

You've all probably noticed that RC is living up to his standards. Yes, my immediate family are a family of hunters. He owns a ton of non-feral cats and two dogs in real life so before you light up your torches and grab your pitchforks. . . . . You weren't really expecting unshaved legs and tree hugging here though, were you?

OMG

Okay, if you are easily offended, look away. This morning in our staff meeting there was a lot of discussion about an event that we are hosting this week. I've been in charge of the planning and execution of the event, so I was a little worried that someone was going to try tossing something new on my plate concerning this soiree. I was right to worry. My boss, really the nicest guy in the world, says "why don't we all wear ribbons on our lapels so that people know that they can come to us for questions." Sounded like a great idea and once again leaving the filter between my brain and mouth off, I said "sure, I can do that!".

Later this afternoon I realized I've never made one of these ribbons. I googled charity ribbon and came across a site that had me in stitches the remainder of the day (PREPARE TO BE OFFENDED NOW). I'm all for supporting charities, causes, having opinions but honest to God, I had no idea that just about every cause now has a ribbon. Here are some examples that had me laughing like an idiot at my desk (I'm sure people heard me laughing alone in my office and are figuring that I have finally gone around the bend).

Did you know?

1. Orange ribbons are for feral cats? I don't know if they are for or against exactly. . .
2. Silver ribbons-elderly abuse. That's all it says elderly abuse. I've gotta say I am against elderly abuse although my dad would argue this (he can dish it out but he can't take it now that he's old)
3. Teal is for a variety of things including sexual assault and food allergies. So now if I see someone wearing a teal ribbon I'm going to wonder if they are the victim of a horrible and violent crime, or just lactose intolerant (not that lactose intolerance sounds like a picnic or anything)
4. Purple represents domestic violence (against), religious tolerance (for), and Pagan Pride. I did not know that there are a lot of Pagan Pride activists out there, but I certainly am hoping for an invite to their next big rally.
5. My personal favorite: Black: mourning, melanoma, anti-gangs, anti-terrorism in Spain, narcolepsy, POW-MIAs, primary billiary cirrhosis, and Amish support.

Number 5 has left my husband in a quandry. He's for Amish Gangs with narcolepsy.

Spring Cleaning

Spring is time for really tearing things apart and giving them a good cleaning. Just make sure you put things back together when you are done.

She looks a little sad because we woke her up with the camera. The hole in the side of her bed? She chewed it. She is nothing if not adaptable.

Gee, Look At Me! I'm a Diplomat!

Those who know me well are cringing at the thought of anyone, or any organization, relying on my skills in diplomacy for anything. But it seems that once children become teenagers, your life as a parent immediately changes. If you are the parent who happens to be the opposite sex of the child, then you become the diplomat. Somehow since puberty kicked in (I waged a two year stop-the-puberty campaign that ultimately failed miserably. Okay the campaign consisted of me stating to anyone who would listen, "I'm on a stop -the-puberty campaign", but still.) the father and son who have been best pals for years have been clashing more frequently.

Today's argument: The cell phone. First I should tell you that my husband was very against the cell phone. Not my son's cell phone, but his own. He hates carrying it. He forgets to turn it on and he still doesn't really know how to use it. He has killed three cell phones in four years by 1)forgetting it was in the pocket of his hoodie and throwing the hoodie in the wash, 2)losing it, 3)leaving it in a canvas bag on the floor of a baseball dugout during a tournament. One of his players spilled a sports drink on the bag rendering the cell phone useless.

My son on the other hand loves his phone. He saved up for a new fancy phone and paid for it himself. He bought a special "jacket" for it. He may be the Speilberg of cell phone movies. He always has it with him. He sends me text, picture, and video messages just so I know he loves mom. He has never lost a cell phone. Ironically I carry the replacement insurance on his cell phone rather than his father's cell phone.

I called home this afternoon to talk to the crabbiest Dad on earth. When I asked him what was wrong he told me that our son had lost his cell phone. He was extremely put out that he had to contact our cell phone provider to put a hold on the phone so that, as he put it, "some kid at school doesn't find it and put 10,000 minutes on it that we have to pay for". I pointed out that it is probably in our son's locker at school and that while our teenager has been surprisingly responsible about his phone, HE has lost, ruined, etc. not one but several phones. This did not improve his mood and he went from being crabbiest Dad on earth to crabbiest husband on earth.

Thank goodness for knitting. And wine.

Lots 'O Yarn

I've been waiting by the mailbox like Ralphie looking for his secret decoder ring. And today, after 4 days at home knitting and hanging out, while I was at work the mailman brought everything I'd been waiting for.

On the left, my knit picks yarn for my Spooky Train from plastic canvas. I haven't done this in years and then it was coasters and easy stuff, nothing three dimensional. It's taken my two hours to cut out the engine. Good thing I've got 7 months until Halloween. The center is cotton chenille for a new pattern I've got in my head. On the right is cotton blend I bought on e-bay. A yarn bonanza.

Have to go vote for DWTS (I'm totally addicted). Drink more Ovaltine (or was it Drink Your Ovaltine? I always forget. RC will know).

Really Bad Blogger

Sorry. I just haven't felt it lately. I've been knitting I just haven't been writing about it. I've been on a big towel kick lately. I made my parents a towel while visiting them and they were so appreciative that I decided to make them a couple more. So this weekend I made this:

I don't use my swift exclusively for hanging things, I sometimes even use it to wind yarn.
I've also caught the washrag bug again and have been making washrags that match the towels. The matching towel has already taken up residence at my sister's (my mother told me that she was not interested in anything lime green).
I figure if you are going to go bright, it might as well be in a dishrag. Especially now when I have a bit of the spring cleaning bug. I've been shining things up around here like crazy.

Today is the first day of school after spring break. I should have invited the marching band over to wake my son up, but I'm not sure that would do it. He got a new bigger more comfy bed over spring break and he's been sleeping in until 10 every morning. His cat is a co-conspirator, he has no interest in my son ever getting out of bed. I better go roust them out of bed.

On the Road

I'm blogging from South Dakota today as my son and I hit the road to visit grandma & grandpa. I didn't want him spending his entire spring break laying around the house playing video games so we have come here and he's laying around the house playing video games with his grandfather. Surely you can see the obvious benefits of intergenerational video gaming. It involves me saying things like, "put down your grandfather I don't care if he's hogging all the purple coins". Maybe a video game where the characters can't use "the dark force" to pick each other up would be a better choice next time.

Yesterday we spent a good portion of the afternoon working on this:

Mom and dad are working on this crazy plastic canvas Easter train. At Christmas time they made all of us "kids" a set of plastic canvas birdhouse ornaments. Confident in their newly found plastic canvas skills they decided that the little ones would enjoy the train decoration at Easter. They have it all cut out and stitched so I just worked on the finishing stuff with them yesterday. I haven't done stuff like this in years, but it was a lot of fun. It reminded me that I really enjoy crafts. I don't think of knitting as "crafty" but I know some do. Once I started knitting, I kind of abandoned my craftiness. (I've got a closet of craftiness too by the way) I might just borrow this book and make the halloween train to add to our halloween decorating this year.

Besides working with my parents and getting a chance to hang out, it was the chance for me to make an important discovery. There is a second shop in town selling yarn. We are heading to bustling downtown Watertown SD today to check it out. I already stopped in at the LYS and loaded up on the cool colors of Sugar n' Cream they carry so I'm ready to hit another yarn shop.

On the road back to Minneapolis today we'll be hitting the Montevideo LYS. They are the only store outside of Michigan that carries the merino from Stonehedge Fiber Mill. The wonderful soft merino I love. This time I'm ready for their cash only policy and will be taking home several skeins. All this family togetherness is making me want to go off somewhere by myself and knit.

Drastic Measures

It is time for drastic action. I have a lot of yarn. Really. A few weeks ago I took one of my bins marked, "full skeins for felting" out of the stash closet to post on the blog and someone left a comment about my "little" stash. It was cute. Like the one little bin was my whole stash. Sweet really. Here is part of my stash.

It's getting ridiculous. In addition to the full size closet devoted to yarn, I have baskets of yarn all over the house. I have yarn that I cannot for the life of me remember why I bought it or what I was going to do with it. I have yarn that I know exactly what I bought it for and after it has been ignored in the stash closet for a couple of years, I am coming to the sad realization that I probably will not knit a Clapotis with the beautiful Lion & Lamb. Not because I don't want a clapotis, but I've discovered I'm allergic to Kate Gilbert patterns. Although this one doesn't have a line that reads, "Row 78 repeat row 12". (This is why I don't have a Sunrise Circle Jacket). I love her stuff, I just can't knit it.

ANYWAY, as my current yarn yearnings are exceeding the space to put more yarn, I am taking drastic action. Tomorrow my husband, the ebay king, is helping me sell some yarn. So I will have room for more yarn. Details tomorrow. I hope my husband has an AED stashed somewhere in the house in case I have a coronary parting with some of this.

Kate's Cockamamie Medical Theories

I have been knitting. Really. But as you may know I have opinions on nearly everything so today I present my cockamamie medical theories. I have no science or empirical evidence behind these theories, they are simply mine.

1. Everyone is on Prilosec, Nexium, etc. because everyone is addicted to highly caffienated, over-roasted Mc-coffee. I'm not naming names. We all have our favorite poison. I just don't think it's any coincidence that a few years after the $4.00 a cup coffee chain sprang up on every corner in America, we all have acid stomachs. I'm just sayin'. Kate's cockamamie health theory: try banning the char-roasted after noon.
2. Heart disease is the #1 killer of women (not my theory). We have a whole generation of women, primarily older boomers, who grew up after the invention of electric appliances and before Title IX. They've never sweat or really worked hard. They wouldn't have dreamed of playing competitive sports even if there had been organized competitive sports to play. Their husband's have done the heavy work. My grandmother didn't own an automatic washer until the 1970's and then it was a little thing that washed and spun the majority of the water out so that she could lug it out back and hang it from the line. She never had an ounce of body fat. My mother thinks exercise is fine unless her heart beats too fast or she "glows" and then she's done. No offense mom. Kate's cockamamie health theory: sweat once in while for God's sake. If you can do it without buying a bunch of fancy workout clothes and subjecting yourself to some overly perky fitness instructor, even better.
3. You feel better if you drink some water everyday, get 8 hours of sleep at night, are regular, and eat and drink in moderation. Laughing everyday is important. I think all of this makes your skin looks better too.

Okay, three of my cockamamie medical theories are probably enough for one day.

Too Much Snow if You're Long and Low

It's a snow day! My office is closed, the school is closed and we have about 14" of new snow on the ground. Grocery Guy delivered last night, I've got plenty of yarn and a fire, we are all prepared to be snowbound. Everyone is happy, except for this one. This is too much snow if you're a dog that's long and low. Maxine & Maggie go out the back door to do their "business". This is primarily because the BHFH is a runner and we have to let her out into the fenced backyard. My son and I shoveled a path out the door and down the deck last night, but this morning another four inches had fallen and the snow had drifted. So I had to get back out there first thing this morning so that she could get out the door.

The giant mound on the right is the grill. I figure as long as it's not bitter cold, I can fire it up all year long. Of course, getting to it will now be an issue. On your left you will notice that the snow has piled up in my window box to the point that it is blocking the kitchen window. I'm going to have to get out there and clear that off.

Last Friday the backyard was brown grass. No snow, just brown grass. Between last weekend's 10 inches and yesterday's 14, the landscape around here has changed dramatically. The mailbox post is completely covered. The mounds at the end of the driveway are over my head. The drifts in the backyard are up to my thighs. So imagine how difficult it is to get around in this if your legs are only 6 inches long. We've shoveled a path but she has to leap up and down to make any progress. She comes in from outside, collapses by the fire, and power-naps. After shoveling for an hour or so this morning, I might just join her.

Snowy Weekend Project

Yes, it has finally snowed here in Minneapolis. We had about a foot in our neighborhood over the weekend. But the plows and the salt trucks have been out. The driveway is shoveled. 12" of snow qualifies as no big deal around here especially when it happens on the weekend.



A snow storm is a perfect reason to stay inside and knit. So I made this:

Sorry for the crappy picture but I stayed up past my bedtime watching the Oscars. I need to finish the turtleneck and put a small bit of ribbing around the sleeves, but I'm nearly done. I started out with the Fitted Tank pattern from Blue Sky Alpacas and modified it a little bit due to gauge problems, my desire to knit in the round, and I wanted it to be a turtleneck. Other than that, it's the same pattern. Someday I'll faithfully follow a pattern again. Not today, but someday.

The best thing about this is the yarn. It is Shepherd's Wool from Stonehedge Fiber Mill and it is the best. Soft with a little bit of sheen and great stitch definition. 250 yards a hank for $8.50 so this tank only took 2 skeins. Here's the issue, I bought it back in August at a little shop in Montevideo MN. They didn't take credit cards and as I use my check card for everything, I don't carry a lot of cash. So I was only able to buy two skeins. I need more of this yarn, but I'm not driving to Montevideo to buy it. I'm sending an e-mail to Stonehedge to see if they'll ship and I'm even considering a color that isn't brown or blue. Yes, really.

Just a little rant on why the hell the Oscars have to be on Sunday. I can't stay up until 11:30 on a Sunday. We sat down as a family and had a nice dinner and then settled in to watch. By 9:00 we had all run out of steam and they hadn't given out a single significant award! I can't stay up so that they can have interpretive dance about the nominated movies!!! After 9:30 (my son had bailed by this time) I kept drifting off to sleep. I even missed roll call of the dead. This is getting ridiculous. How is a normal family supposed to celebrate Oscar night? How are we supposed to stay awake to make fun of bad dresses? What if there is a Richard Gere "Free Tibet" moment after I've drifted off to sleep? Saturday, they need to move this to Saturday.

I Blame Big Bird

Okay, you've all heard enough about my knitting for now, I need a little ranting space. Something is bothering me. It's not earth shattering. It won't change the fate of mankind (okay darn it, it will a little) but it's bugging me.

When I was a kid I can remember going to the Children's Theater to see Huck Finn, James & The Giant Peach and I think Charlotte's Web (honestly, could this be a sadder story to subject children to?). I saw Romeo & Juliet and A Christmas Carol. No, I wasn't seeing Albee or Brecht as a child but at least they were real plays or based on works of literature. Apparently that has all changed.

I feel sorry for Children's Theaters all over the country because what is now considered theater is very different. When did theater for kids become "Elmo Live"! or "Go Diego Go, Live" basically whatever cartoon kids character you want LIVE. I've been to one of these productions. Once was enough. The house lights are on, the kids are loud, the story is thin and there are vendors hawking Officially Licensed merchandise.

We wonder when kids get older why they are talking on their cell phones in movie theaters and breaking up their styrofoam drink cups during Shakespeare. (I had this happen to me in college during a monologue and the urge to jump off the stage and whack the teenager upside the head was nearly overwhelming).

Gee, I wonder. Do you think it's because we are raising our kids to be culturally illiterate? Theater to them is now an officially licensed light-up plastic toy and a glow in the dark t-shirt? I blame Big Bird. I think Sesame Street was the first production to go "Live" and it's been downhill ever since. Damn Big Bird.

Three Day Weekend

I love a good three day weekend. This one was particularly great. Saturday my sister, the quilter, gave me this:

Cute huh? She figured it would be just the right size for me to haul a project around. She is correct, but I also think it's a perfect size for packing my low-cal frozen lunch and water each day. The idea of cutting big pieces of fabric into little pieces (perfect little pieces no less) and sewing them precisely back together has no appeal to me as a process, but I love the end result. So thanks Sis!

In other family news, for those of you who keep track of my crazy family, it was my little brother's 33rd birthday this weekend! You know my little brother as RC or Roger Clinton. He lurks here nearly every day, so take time to wish him a Happy Belated Birthday if you can.

Saturday morning I finished the knitting on this:

I now have aproximately one bazillion ends to weave in and blocking to do. But I'm pretty sure I'll wear this so it meets my definition of a successful sweater endeavor. I am especially pleased as it was working without a net. No pattern, just knittin'.

Sunday I went to the Knit Out at the MOA. It was pretty much a bust as it was laid out really poorly but I did buy this book and had Annie sign it. The whole Annie family was there as they'd arrived here in Minnesota ahead of their personal possessions so they were all at the mall. I was glad to meet her as I've missed her everytime she's been spotted at my favorite places to hang out, buy yarn and knit. She was very sweet and gracious considering she'd just moved across the country.

Yesterday was spent shopping with my son for clothes. He's quite the clothes horse so I gave him a budgeted amount of money and off we went. He did really well staying within the budget and a good time was had by all.

So, all in all a good weekend. Now, I gotta get back to work.

Sleeves Suck and Quirkiness

I'm working my way slowly down the sleeve of my saved sweater. It's incredibly boring. Every so often I have to pick up the sweater and remind myself that I'm in the home stretch. Almost done. I've got two inches 'til I hit the ribbing. I'm hoping that I will have a completed sweater this weekend. But sleeves suck. I never seem to enjoy knitting them.

Yesterday I received a package from Jimmy Beans. No, not yarn. I'm being a good girl and knitting from my stash. But I did order some patterns. This because I have some DK in my stash that I want to knit. I love the "Knitting Pure & Simple" patterns. They are well written, simple top-down patterns that result in nice wearable garments. This because my two nieces are very into dance and gymnastics and leg warmers seem a perfect gift. This because I've loved the look of it since I first laid eyes on it. It was in an ad in one of the many magazines and I really love the wide ribbing and the fit on the arms and neck. I don't know about you, but I'm 42 years old, bras aren't optional so I like this tank. I will need to buy 3 or 4 hanks of yarn for this tank, but I still have money left on my Christmas Yarn Cafe gift card so I don't think it counts as a purchase.

I was officially tagged by Mrs. MJW to respond to 10 Quirky Things About Me. Only 10? I've got a lot more quirks than that. I'm not usually a big meme kind of gal, but this is the very first time anyone has tagged me by name. So I must respond.

10 Quirky Things About Me

1. I'm a bit phobic about germs. I need to have hand wipes in my purse at all times. I'm actually a little peeved at Bath & Bodyworks for discontinuing their antibacterial wipes. I know they are smaller and 10x more expensive than the ones I can get at Target, but I liked them. I Clorox wipe my office on a regular basis. I can't use the communal microwave at the office without wiping down the keypad with antibacterial wipes.
2. I can't bring myself to wear socks that aren't black, brown or white. White is only for tennis shoes of course. This stands in the way of my total participation in the knitting blogesphere as so many knit bloggers are also sock addicts.
3. I have a terrible speech habit of using the phrase, "quite honestly". As if I'm lying most of the time so I have to preface this sentence with, "quite honestly". It drives me nuts and I can't seem to break the habit.
4. If I decide I'm interested in something I go completely overboard. I have to have all the equipment and the right clothes for it. I am no good at the whole moderation thing. Lately I've been working out and yesterday I caught myself looking at overpriced "workout" clothes. As if the t-shirts and sweats I've been wearing have somehow adversely impacted my workouts. It's been like this with knitting for about 5 years now. Thank God there aren't expensive special shoes for knitting. I'd have 4 pair.
5. I can fall asleep anywhere. Sitting on a plane, laying on the sofa, outside on the patio. I love a good little nap. Not more than 30 minutes though or I'm cranky and sleepy all day long.
6. I hate spending time on my hair. I'd love to have long beautiful hair but I resent the 5 lousy minutes I have to spend with a blow dryer on my short hair. I always hate my hair but I'm pretty much completely unwilling to do anything about it.
7. I'm a worrier. I worry about my friends and family. I'm always saying things like "wash your hands, you don't know what you might have picked up at the mall" and "did you remember your jacket?". This is mildly tolerated by my son. Less so by my friends and parents.
8. I have an irrational fear of flying animals. Any kind of flying animal. When I was a group rep we used to go to trade shows and the Mutual of Omaha people would be there with wild animals. I could pet a bear, a lion or a snake, but the tethered eagle scared me to death. I couldn't get near it. Even canaries scare the snot out of me. Don't even mention bats.
9. I'm a neatnik. I can't stand stuff sitting around looking at me. We are picker uppers around here. Being someplace cluttered or messy makes me nervous. I want to pick up. Lately, I have stuck to my vow of not taking apart my sister's stove top and cleaning it more than a couple times of year. I think she appreciates me not taking things apart every time I visit. (PLEASE NOTE I AM NOT SAYING MY SISTER IS NOT NEAT HERE. SHES AN AMAZING HOUSEKEEPER. I LOVE AND ADMIRE HER. SHE IS SMARTER AND MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN I. SHE CAN ALSO KICK MY ASS.)
10. I have a deep and abiding distrust of the perky. People who are always sunshiny and happy are strange. I think they are either completely insincere or a little dim-witted.

I'm tagging Renee, Chris, Julie, Guinifer and Annie.

Save The Sweater, Save My Sanity

Okay, it doesn't have the same ring as "Save the Cheerleader, Save the World", but my sanity is pretty important to me. Recently, I was faced with the prospect of frogging two half-done sweaters. Upon further inspection I decided that I might be able to save one sweater by extending the bottom ribbing to make it more interesting. So this weekend, that is exactly what I did.

There was nothing wrong with this sweater that made me want to rip it out. No glaring errors or mistakes in gauge, it was just boring. Then I remembered a sweater I bought a couple years ago. Kind of retro with a fair isle yoke, but it had a wide band of ribbing on the bottom that made it sorta cool. So with that as inspiration I kept knitting. I'm glad I did. After trying it on in progress several times, I think I'm going to wear this sweater a lot.

In other knitting news, I'm working on a cover for my heating pad. I know that probably sounds nuts, but I just bought a new one and I can't stand the icky cheap fabric that they use to make the covers.

Shoe Shopping

Today is my 1st Blogiversary. Laura left me my first ever non-spam comment the following week. Yay Laura! Thanks.

Yesterday my sister, my niece (who will be 5 in May) and I went shoe shopping. I only have a son, so I was unaware of the joys of having a daughter who likes to shop. My sister is practical so she by and large stays out of the mall, but I would be in real trouble if I had a full-time shopping pal. There is probably a reason that I was not blessed with a daughter.

DSW Shoe Warehouse was having a big sale. A BIG sale. My sister needed shoes for the school's fancy schmancy fundraising dinner so we really were there with a purpose in mind. But with so many shoes 50% or even 70% off things got out of hand. As a nearly professional shoe shopper I feel that I should categorize the emotional stages of shoe shopping for you before you run out to the nearest shoe sale yourself.

1. Browsing. You walk in the store, look around. Of course there are some cute canvas, ankle-tie espadrilles right in front, but come on it's February. It's 3 degrees outside and a slushy mess.
2. First sighting. You come across a tall rack of boots and pick up a pair of brown, suede, pull-on, stretchy boots with fashionable toes and heels that aren't too high. Upon further inspection you discover that at 40% off these boots are only $40. OH MY GOD!
3. Frenzy. 20 minutes later you are wishing that you hadn't brought your purse. It's getting in the way as you scurry from aisle to aisle accumulating pairs of sale shoes that you must have.
4. Insanity. I have a pair of strappy, purple, shiny, leather sandals with rhinestone heels in one hand and a pair of 4" teal blue imitation-ostrich pumps in the other. I have my eye on furry lime green clogs with giant wedge heels. I work for an insurance firm. The Ward Cleavers there would have coronaries if I wore any of this. I don't have outfits for any of this. If I buy these things I will never wear them.
5. Jaded. 40% off? Are you kidding me? I've got a pair of Steve Madden pumps in my pile over there that are 70% off and will only cost me $20.98. 40% off? I spit on 40% off. I need more.

Once you reach jaded you'll be okay. You will end up buying things you'll actually wear. You won't spend the grocery money on pink lucite wedgies. The problem is that most people don't ride out the insanity to get to jaded. They panic and run from the store without purchasing anything or find themselves buying a single pair of sensible shoes. They will regret this later. Ride it out, you'll come back to your senses.

The insanity lasts a lot longer if you have a blonde, green-eyed 4 year old with long curly hair modeling all the shoes for you. Finding shiny shoes and saying "OOH, Kafryn, look at these!" By the way, the first pair of brown stretchy boots didn't make the final cut when we culled the pile down to the budget. But between the two of us we bought 12 pair of shoes. I kinda want to go back for those boots. Maybe I'll take my niece.

Dear Aunt Kate

Dear Kate,

Thank you for the i-tunes giftcard and the slippers that almost fit me and fit Benny. Love Joe

Okay, let's spot the subtle message here. The slippers I knit for my nephew's birthday don't fit. I'm back to square 1 on the slipper knitting. I'm thinking that I will knit the slippers and leave it to Joe and his mom to do the actual felting. That was they will be able to felt them to the perfect size.

Luckily I always have feltable yarn in the stash.Here it is, in the box labeled "Full Skeins Feltable Wool". This is not to be confused with the bin labeled "Left Over Feltable Wool" or the "Noro" bin. When knitting frustrates me or I'm pressed for time or generally feeling harried, I always seem to fall back on knitting felted accessories.

Guilty Pleasure

I did really well on my college entry exams. I'm not the smart one in the family. But I'm the clever (read smart ass) one in the family. The point being that I'm brighter than this next admission would indicate. I'm totally addicted to "The Real Housewives of Orange County". First I've got to tell you I actually know a woman in the OC and she is totally nothing like these women. (Okay, it's MFF's sister and she is SO not these women) These women (except Jeana, I love her) are shallow and not the brightest bulbs on the tree. They are so obsessed with money and possessions its ridiculous, but I'm addicted. Okay Jeana is shallow and obsessed with money and possessions, but she makes the money so she should get to spend it. Plus she's a baseball mom.

So, this is my guilty pleasure. It's like reality t.v. porn. It's the lowest form of reality t.v. and I still want to watch it. The only way this could get better is if Jo and Laurie tried to knit. Of course they might end up stabbing each other with the needles, but still.

I wonder what, "The Real Housewives of Hennepin County" would be like? So that's what I'm doing tonight. I'm knitting Tubey and watching RHOOC. It's bad, it's wrong, but I'm 'fessing up to it. The first step is admitting you have a problem.

Super Sunday

It was a super Sunday. I went yarn shopping, found some bargains, and finally decided on a project.

I watched a little bit of the "Knitty Gritty" marathon yesterday. I was hoping to see someone I recognized from blogland. I haven't had a chance to watch much "Knitty Gritty" in the past as it's on during the weekday and I'm at the office. If this is your favorite show, let me apologize right now. Don't get me wrong. I'm so glad that there is a show just about knitting. And I'm glad that the production values and sets are more interesting than the run-of-the-mill, but honest to God I just can't take much of this show.

The strained, "I'm so hip, I knit, so therefore knitting must be hip" message is constant and unrelenting. From Vickie Howell's uber-hip, I don't care hair (which I'm sorry looks like she did it herself with kitchen shears. After a bottle of wine. Or two.) to her saying things like, ". . . but if you knit continental, rock on with your bad self" ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Most of the guests that are demonstrating projects seem nervous and a little put-off by Vickie's never-ending, "hip-to-be-perky" -ness. I mean isn't enough to worry about knitting on t.v. without having to worry about being cool enough for Vickie? I mean do they make normal people get $600 haircuts and tatoos before they appear on the show? I salute everyone who is brave enough to appear on the show, I just wish it was more watchable. So there you go, I'm a horrible critical person. I'm not fit to carry Vickie's knitting bag. Let me have it.

I did decide that after swatching my Knit Picks alpaca silk to the point that I'm worried that it's just going to grow legs and run off screaming, "enough already, make up your mind! stop swatching and frogging!" I am going to be the last person on earth to knit Tubey. I've wanted to knit this forever, but I haven't had just the right yarn. The alpaca silk is definitely the right yarn. And I have to give it high marks for resilience. I've swatched and frogged, swatched and frogged and it still looks and feels great. I started Tubey last night during the Super Bowl and I wish I could just sit and knit today. By the fire. It's -16 outside and it would be a perfect day to stay home and knit. But I'm off to work. Have a great day. Stay warm.